Stress Management Hack: Rumination
ruminate: v. To chew the cud.
Sounds great if you are a cow or other bovine creature. But you are not. You are a human.
ruminate: v. to think about something deeply.
Are you a ruminator? A deep thinker? An obsessed thinker? A negative consequences thinker? Or a deliberate thinker?
Rumination is a common human activity. It simply means that we give a lot of thought to a lot of different subjects and in a lot of different ways. In and of itself, there is nothing wrong with rumination. It is when rumination becomes a product of stress, or negative thought patterns, that rumination really begins to give us trouble.
There are 4 recognized types of rumination: brooding, reflection, intrusive, and deliberate. Of these four, it is typically brooding and intrusive ruminations that cause a problem for us. For the purposes of this writing we will give attention to the types of rumination that cause us to dwell on negative thoughts, feelings, or situations. Brooding is considered as passive thinking about one’s mood or situation, but usually in a negative context and what our role was in the negative situation. Intrusive rumination is uncontrollable thoughts related to a stressful or traumatic event. In either case, these ruminations can cause severe disruptions.
To manage these types of ruminations, we need to understand and recognize what a rumination is. Put simply, a rumination is just a series or pattern of thoughts. In and of themselves, our thoughts are inert and innocuous. It is when we apply other meaning or act on thoughts that they become real problems. Rumination is no different. We can manage our ruminations the same way we manage many of our other negative or irrational thoughts. If you are still having challenges managing your ruminations, here are some tips to help get your mind out of that loop.
Negative ruminations can create safety threats in our minds.
Whether brooding ruminations about your role in a negative situation or intrusive ruminations about a stressful event, whenever we hold on to these thoughts we create a vigilism around that thought which creates a safety consideration in our brains. When we identify a thought as threatening -such as a traumatic memory or re-experience the shame we had in a situation - our brains will latch on to that notion in order to keep us safe. In most cases, the event or events have passed or not happened yet, so what we are really responding to is a threat that exists only in our mind but is perceived as real. This is one reason we feel we are never ever to turn off the thoughts. By focusing on them negatively, we actually keep them at the forefront of a vigilant mind.
To manage these ruminations, we need to create safety around those thoughts in our minds. Remembering that these ruminations are often focused in the past or future, one of the best things we can do to combat these thoughts is to be mindful about the present. Using mindfulness techniques will allow us to deal with the thoughts and the present reality simultaneously which can result in reduction in the ruminations.
Let’s say you are ruminating about a conversation at work that you think may lead to your dismissal. You ruminate about the past replaying the conversation over and over hoping to get a different result even though you won’t. You ruminate about the future and how you are going to play out those scenarios - even when we don’t know if that is the actual way things will go down in the future. (Usually it isn’t.) In either situation using mindfulness techniques to manage the thoughts can be useful.
Identify the rumination for what it is and call it out. “Brain, you are ruminating again.”
Identify the nature of the rumination, if it is negative, do a fact check. What has actually happened? What are the actual effects? Separate in your mind the actual reality of the situation versus what is perceived about the situation.
Focus your mind on what is real and what is present in the situation. Many times the only thing that is real and present about the situation is that it is on our mind. However, when we focus on the real, it tends to make the perceived take a back seat. By focusing on the real we see that even though we may have gone through something terrible, I am ok in this moment.
And that is the trick, you are ok in that moment, and that is the message your brain needs to hear in order to turn off the vigilance.
Negative ruminations interfere with our ability to relax - literally.
Ruminations that cause safety threats - real or perceived - will induce a stress reaction in the mind and body. This stress reaction is often referred to as fight or flight or freeze. As noted above, when we ruminate over negative emotions or situations we are creating stress that our bodies will respond to. The physiological stress response increases our heart rate, slows digestion, shallows breathing, essentially creating a panic state. This panic state has a similar emotional response. Our focus narrows, it becomes more difficult to concentrate, and we lose our faculties. This physiological and emotional response creates a feedback loop that will continue to intensify if we do not correct it.
Imagine you are having intrusive thoughts around a past experience. In this experience you could have been the perpetrator or the victim or just collateral damage. In any case, your stress systems are now being activated because your brain perceives a real external threat from those thoughts. Did you know your body has a relaxation system that you can activate at anytime to alleviate and manage the experience of stress. It works great for rumination-induced stress as well.
To activate your relaxation response do the following:
Identify that you are ruminating. “Brain, you are ruminating again.”
Identify the perceived threat and respond to it. Do you feel ashamed because of something you did? Do you feel disappointment that something didn’t turn out right or the way it should? Do you feel wronged or hurt by a person, the situation or incident?
What do you need as a response? Do you need forgiveness from yourself? Do you need to feel optimism again? Do you need to remind yourself of your strength in response to something done to demean, hurt, or harm you? Identifying the need and then creating a mantra around that need to speak a new message to yourself is an effective way of managing rumination.
Combine with simple breath work exercise to elicit the relaxation response.
It works like this. I used to ruminate over failed relationships, one in particular. Participating in the above exercise allowed me to identify the why I was ruminating. I wasn’t ruminating to make things right, or wonder why things went wrong, I was ruminating because my mind and body were trying to make me aware of a huge need I had for myself. That need was love and peace. So I made it my rumination mantra: “Love and Peace.” When combined with a simple breathing technique I am able to activate my bodies Relaxation Response to counteract the stress created by the rumination. This kills the feedback loop and allows me to escape the rumination.
Now when I catch myself ruminating I can return to my breath and return to my mantra which usually snaps me right out of it and leaves me feeling relaxed and focused. I would breath in “Love” for myself and exhale “peace” to the world. Or I might breathe in “May you be loved.” and breath out “May you be at peace.” This allows my thoughts to turn positive, my brain to sense some safety, and my body to physiologically relax. 5-10 cycles of this is usually all it takes to snap you out in the moment. However, I would recommend up to a 20 minute session of breath and mantra to really combat the regular experience of rumination.
This little stress hack has served me so well over the past year and i learned it from a coach. Working with a stress management coach can really serve to increase your resiliency and help you manage daily struggles such as rumination or negative thinking. This technique will work with any negative thought cycle whether its rumination or negative self-talk or catastrophic thinking.
Next time you are feeling attacked by rumination or other negative thought patterns, use this hack to regain your balance.
Coach Michael
